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shame

by bulldog eyes

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1.
shame 02:00
no one knows i get lost in my head i make room in my bed for you you feel it near but don't know who your graceful death it waits for you youre dying just to feel in tune with ugly fucking people who dont like the way you look youre ashamed and youre embarrassed use their eyes and use their words to leave you lonely, lonely on and off youre longing for the things youve lost with listless dreams of lips so soft youre looking in the mirror but its never in the eyes yore ashamed and youre embarrassed of the way you wanna f*ck until you die
2.
home 01:31
home with the lights out you go home the people they get old enjoy your quiet luxuries through your windows cars are sighing "please dont go away" home with the door locked you stay home you would rather sleep alone your life lived comfortably past your doorway people fight like wild animals home where you want to be, yeah?
3.
fun and easy 02:03
I see the floor of you room in my dreams and long for the taste of the stains in your sheets watching while you sleep no one to speak to and no one to see and every wasted day drags you closer to me death is fun and easy
4.
goodnight 03:14
i wanna ave a place to go filled with people that i know the friendly faces smile at me see the dirt and grime between open mouths and now i know what friends are all about i wanna feel you next to me hold you close and hear you breathe i wanna live inside your head hear those things unsaid between unloving orifices and now i know what desperation is dead palm trees line the highway glaring down green exit signs cars rip the asphalt faces burned between the dotted lines over and over you will sleep like shit but wake up feeling fine i wanna have a place to go filled with people that i love like the old days before we had to go our separate ways dire eyes dot the shoreline stare resentment into me head hanging over pierside beg the ocean swallow me you feel like a smile on an east coast morning after snow all night goodbye!
5.
press your weary face to the cold downtown drink until there’s no one around the southern winter talks to you in stifled voices hey how’ve you been? how have you been? how have you? a shotglass filled with ashes you bleed into her citys always calling you remember how your lover used to love you? we were closer than ever
6.
flower 01:39
I could apply to the flower shop but that won’t make me pretty and I could find a brand new job but ill still have no money whats the point? I could do anything I want like I said I would at sixteen and I could put my makeup on but I will still be ugly whats the point? I could go to my old house theres a flower in the window where the people disappear from me I’m smiling in their shadow whats the point?
7.
shame ii 03:25
broken seams, a burning hand to grope you in your dreams and savor nothing hide away, nevermind the nasty things they say nevermind how shameful urges shining through leave vista's vengeful eyes ice blue but god is waiting here for you, you know sex appeal, you clench your fists around the love you steal in sullen anger, kiss away lover's lustful lips can't make them stay bleeding through the shameful thoughts that make me shake leave angels crying in their wake in oceanside the tide is gray, you know no you don't don't you know? the desperate ways i hide myself and pushed away the things ive felt to live in shame to live in hell, you know
8.
I will call you half asleep and speak your scriptures into me god is on the phone and he is telling you youre dirty and youre sick I will call my east coast friends and ask them "hey how have you been?" friends are on the phone and they are telling you its different since you left
9.
I see the floor of you room in my dreams and long for the taste of the stains in your sheets watching while you sleep no one to speak to an no one to see and every wasted day drags you closer to me death is fun and easy
10.
shame (demo) 02:06
no one knows i get lost in my head i make room in my bed for you you feel it near but don't know who your graceful death it waits for you youre dying just to feel in tune with ugly f*cking people who dont like the way you look youre ashamed and youre embarrassed of ow the way they use their words can leave you shook lonely, lonely on and off youre longing for the things youve lost with listless dreams of lips so soft youre looking in the mirror but its never in the eyes yore ashamed and youre embarrassed of the way you wanna f*ck until you die

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released March 15, 2014

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